RESULTS :D

Hey everyone, Its a long time since i wrote but i passed my exams so ive had alot of celebration to be doing! Surprisingly i passed well too, I got a 4 (the choices being fail, 3, 4, 5), I couldnt believe it but so so happy!
It made me think how stupid the marking is though, as if you get a 4 your in the middle without knowing which side of that middle block of people your at. If you get a 3 at least you know u were at the bottom of everyone, and everyone who got 5 (although there was only about 10) know they're at the top. For all i know i could have been a mark away from having a 3, or i could have the highest 4 in the year group meaning i was close to a 5...It shouldnt really matter, but after a good few months of hardcore revision you kind of want to know where you stand in terms of the rest of the year... Supposingly you get a number at some point, giving you a ranking out of the year group, so i could be 11/300 or 250/300! Its a big difference! So cant wait to find that out.

So i went to my boyfriends graduation ball just before i got my results, its crazy as they were giving goody bags out with badges in saying 'I'm a doctor' and everyone was having their first piss up as a doctor, and there i was, awaiting my 1st year results! Kind of made me appreciate for the first time, the massive knowledge gap between me and him. But its weird how young everyone looks, and by talking to people and seeing how some people behave, scares you abit that these people will be doctors in august! However, most people were lovely and im sure they will all make amazing doctors! The weekend basically consisted of alcohol, and lots of it, but as that suggests, we had an amazing time! The last day was the day of my results and i wasnt stressed or nervous at all, i kind of had the que sera sera approach, Id done the exams, tried my bloody hardest...so whatever came next i deserved!

The trip back was spoilt by the sat nav! It should have only taken an hour to get back to uni however an hour into the journey we found our selves in manchester...MILES away from where we were heading! The sat nav must have misread the postcode that was put it (or my bf didnt put in in right, which was my best guess) so i was really mad, especially as we only had untill 4 to book our retakes (which i really hoped wasnt going to be needed as another month of revision was the last thing on my mind...) and by this time it was 3 so we were cutting things short! After a stressful journey we made it back and although id missed the celebrations of everyone else, i entered the deserted corridor, excited to see i wasnt on the fail list and even more excited to see id not only passed, but passed with an ok grade...or so i hope...i could have just missed getting a 3!

It comes to show you can do well in medicine if you try. Fair enough , i didnt get a 5, i wasnt the top of the year, that was never expected. But i wasnt the bottom either, which I feel is a huge achievment for myself. There were people who did worst than me in these exams, so although i may have got lower GCSE and A level grades than everyone else, i still beat alot of people in the medical exams! It just comes to show what abit of effort and tiny bit of belief in yourself can do.
I wish everyone luck in there upcoming exams and the best of luck with results.

Have you heard about the word?

Ok so exams are over, got really drunk last night in 'celebration' of their completion...however...im pretty sure i will be redoing them in a few weeks..!
Ok so the first exam we had was REDICULOUS! And everyone thought the same, the worst thing i did actually was watch the family guy episode with 'the bird is the word' the night before the exam (youtube it if you havent seen) so the song was in my head throughout the entire exam making the already hard questions impossible to concentrate on... question one: autopsies....Have you heard about the bird?...SHIT....question two: Hypersensitivity reactions....everybodies heard about the bird.....question 3...B-B-B-Bird bird bird....and you can kind of see where that went! So got off to a bad start...but so did everyone else so that was good, as if everyone does bad, the grading is dragged down so its easier to get a 4 or a 5....
After the exam I had made plans to go to the hairdressers as my hairdresser was going on holiday the same week and i needed my hair doing for a ball im going to...anyway, enough with the excuses, i didnt end up revising for the 2nd exam, especially when the 1st exam had dashed all my confidence in revision being useful only about 20% of the things i revised actually came up!

The next day was the multi station exam, so u go round stations looking at specimens and stuff and answering questions... and u need a lab coat. I got to the exam and of course, id forgotten my lab coat...I thought im sure i can lend one but no, they had to make the BIGGEST fuss out of it, ringing people up at the med school asking how i should be dealt with...to cut a VERY long story short they ended up just giving me one..after causing me half an hour of stress making me think i couldnt do the exam...just what i needed! Strangley enough the exam was ok, i actually found it easy...We had to present a history to a doctor at one station and I hadnt learnt mine as i spent the previous day at the hairdressers and sleeping...but he let me read it off the paper which was really useful...but I completely forgot id printed on both sides, so i read the history of presenting complaint which was on one side and nothing else, no drug history, social history, medical history, Im so dumb, I think back to some of the gormy things I do and i wonder how anyone can be so stupid! Id read them on the morning of the exam and had the paper infront of me...owell...that was an automatic fail..! But the rest of the exam was ok...leading me into a false sence of security...

So the last exam, I was sooooo excited, but nervous, as only one exam had gone ok, so if this one went ok I would probably pass and be fine, but if it was hard i was almost certain to failure...So its multi choice...easy you say....i thought if iv got a few answers to choose from how hard can it be....i was SO wrong...I couldnt even quote the question due to it been constructed from words id never seen before, but to give you a basic understanding of the difficulty level...question one was something along the lines of 1,3-biphosphglycersomething is converted into 1,6-tryphosphoglycenicsomething else, which enzyme catalyses it....I do realise non of those are real compounds, but the compounds could have been fake for all i knew...there were 10 answers to choose between and were all along the lines of (a) 2-phosphorylase trisulphinate (b) 3-phosphorylase biglycerate (c) 3,4-phosporylase....etc etc....If your not at med school yet your probably thinking im sure u should have learn that...but NO-ONE learns specific enzymes for stupid biochem reactions, well maybe some people, but only the really really good ones...who enjoy revising! Fair enough ask about basic reactions that we actually NEED to know, but this exam took the absolute p*ss! The first 30 questions were similar to the one i just wrote, it could have been in spanish i would have had the same chance of getting marks! Someone started crying in the exam, just to show the absolute horror of it! I was ready to laugh after abit, every turn of the page i was holding new hope for a lovely jaundice question, or chest pain, or diarrhoea, just something we'd actually learnt...but every turn of the page destroyed any hope i had!

Anyway, the last few questions were ok, which left me on a high, i didnt go through and check as it would have just depressed me again so i left with my head held high...well maybe not high but not down either...and exams were OVER! It was the best feeling ever, to just go home and not worry about anything and sleep for as long as i wanted! We were 'celebrating' from quite early on meaning today im feeling abit worst for wear but i dont care as i can sleep allll day!

Just got to forget about results now...im sure ill have done ok, when i say ok i mean passed....but it will probably be the lowest pass ever..but u never know, people always leave exams feeling they could have done better, and its medicine...its supposed to be hard! Iv been asking my bf about some of the questions i took an educated guess at and i seem to have got a fair few right so we'll have to see! Results are released on the 9th of june, so fingers crossed!

Hope everybody elses exams have gone fine and for those of you still revising good luck! x

Sorry guys!

Im really sorry for the lack of posts recently! Please dont think iv forgotten about this, its just that revision at the moment is fairly hardcore! Iv realised that what i thought was alot of work that i was doing, really really wasnt! My timetable that iv constructed would require me to work for like 16 hr days if i was to cover everything...im starting to see sleep as such a timewaster!

Exams are in less than a week now so im trying to get my head into it!
Im starting to really worry that im going to fail as iv done a few specimen papers and failed miserably on them all...I need to pass! Just to prove my place at uni wasnt a wasted one as many people have said :(

I wont be posting untill after the exams now...the post will probably not be a happy one!
Good luck too everyone else taking exams soon, especially everyone fighting for their entry requirements! Dont do what iv been doing and procrastinate, put everything into it and you cant go wrong!

Disractons!

The list of distractions i have come across during the past few days is rediculous!
My bf has his finals next week, so hes literally not leaving the house, so I thought maybe that would motivate me to get alot of revision done, as usually im with him every night....how wrong was I!Although im pretty sure procrastination is a genetic predisposition which iv aquired from both of my parents, that doesnt make it any better, and im pretty sure that it wont be a good enough excuse for the failure of my exams....

So lets start with the weekend, saturday i got to the libary really early, all set for an hardcore day of revision, after about half an hour my sight suddenly goes! No word of a lie, my eyes were really hurting, so i closed them for a second thinking it was just because i was tired, and on opening them my vision deteriated by about 50%, I decided i was in the right place to investigate this problem, after reading about visual loss for about 5 minutes i decided to go home due to the fear i may be going blind or have some form of brain tumour....So that gave me an excuse to lay around with my eyes closed and complain, i finally decided to do some work, then britains got talent came on.end of work. I rang the optitian and he didnt seem worried, he just gave me an appointment for thursday! Iv now adapted to my new visual state but its not useful when i need to be reading...

Sunday, eyes still no better, i decided to man up and work through the pain, on arriving to the libary I saw a friend of mine who i sat and talked to for about an hour (or 3) and then went for lunch with...gets to about 2pm and still no work, arrive in the libary and its jammed packed so i go home, I get home and decide to make dinner not just any ordinary dinner, I wanted lasagne, fresh and home made...so i went shopping for everything, found a recipe and made it, what a loser i am, all this time just thinking id work better later after id had some good food....5pm still no work, sat down did about an hour, then suddenly started to feel really sick (i bet your all thinking im an hyperchondriac...) I was sick a few times and so went to bed...im sure i food poisoned myself, not a good weekend for my health....however i felt alot better on monday!

Monday I went to the libary, only to find people working on the floor! It was crazily packed! They were giving out time limits for the desks! I managed to get a desk but it was so loud and hot and full, none of the books i wanted were on the shelves, dont people have things to do on a bank holiday?! I was not in the mood to revise so i went home to work, got home and the household had decided around my exam period would be a great time to redecorate the garden...theres men outside with the big digger things destroying our perfectly good exhisting patio, there rebuilding our walls and fences which were more than satisfactory at carrying out there purpose of dividing things....I wasnt happy, I shouted at a few people, and then made some sushi....yep sushi making was my only escape, I do love sushi though and fish is good for your brain right....

Now its tuesday, Iv been to my lectures this morning, the seventh neoplasia lecture within a week.....and now im procrastinating even more by writing this blog! Iv got the dentist in half an hour as iv also had the worst tooth ache all week (i swear i never normally complain bout things) This evening i WILL get lots of revision done.......

Exams!!! Argh!

Exam stress is reaching new highs every day! Im not one to get stressed over these things, but with each lecture that passes, new fears start to grow! Today during a lecture, a slide showing a microscope image containing what only can be described as pink dots appeared and the lecturer says' Im sure by now you'll all know this is a squamous cell carcinoma, if not id be worried'....Histology! aargh!! The nods of agreement from everyone else wasnt reassuring either!

So for everyone whos curious about medical exams...Im not sure if all medical schools follow the same format but I would assume they do...Anyway, we have 3 exams in first year (great!) one is called an MEQ and is very similar to the type of exam you do in Alevel biology, where they ask a question such as 'define the term carcinoma' and you answer 'epithelial maligant neoplasm', so basically question and answer (Im not sure how useful it is for you, for me to write questions, but let me know if your interested in what kind of questions we get and ill write some down from a practice paper!). Theres an exam called an EMQ, where the questions are mainly clinical based and you have a choice of a various amount of answers to choose from, so multi-choice. And then theres a multi-station exam, where theres lots of stations set up, each lasts for 4 minutes, and you work your way around. So one station may have a heart with a flag in a specific coronary artery and they will ask you to name the artery. And the worst thing is, what i found out today, if you fail just one of those exams, you have to resit them all! At a cost of around £400! How bad is that!

Just a short post today but it destracted me from revision for abit!

Whos telling the truth?!

So its four weeks till exams and my knowledge (or lack of) is starting to become apparent. Iv been doing a decent amount of revision (or what i thought was decent) but on returning after easter people are starting to worry me! My 'decent' amount of revision has been 2-3 hours most days...with the occasional 4 hour sesh, however i did spend many days just chilling out, visiting friends, I had a weekend away and jus basically having a good time! Lots of my good friends have told me theyve done 9-10 hours EVERY day of the easter break! Peoples facebook status's have started to worry me too, things like: 'John thinks revising all day everyday is starting to pay off', 'Emma is now an histology pro', 'Ali thinks the specimen papers wern't too bad'. These types of things are not making me feel better about my 2 hour days! However, in dissection today (or two hour chat) everyone has been saying that they havent looked at a book all holiday and that they are going to start revision this week....So is there really such a vast spread of effort that is being put in throughout the year group, or are people lying... This as been playing on my mind but then i started to think, it shouldnt (and doesnt) matter how much others have done, if i do enough (or what i think is enough) then thats all that matters! In medicine people seem to get obsessed with what everyone else is doing! You go to school and college being the smartest in the class, then u get to medicine and all of a sudden your just average (or even worst, like in my case!) So people start worrying if there not doing enough compared to everyone else, I have been like that since i started! But iv started to think, as long as you learn everything, and feel confident, it doesnt matter what everyone else is doing! Ill stop now iv blabbed on, this is just a recent breakthrough of mine and i thought i would share!

Entering the big world of medicine...

(Cont. from previous post) I was a 2007 entrant, so right now I'm in the first year, for the second time around... which i will explain later in this post! So back in 2007, once the excitement of getting the place had set in, i got to work looking for accomodation, even though i was a local student, I wanted to embrace the full student life! I got the reading list and my parents took me out and literally bought me everything on the list (although I'm sure they couldn't afford to...!), something I now realise was a complete waste of money as i use about 20% of my books, plus I do most of my work in the library, of which has all the books anyway! So if you haven't yet done so, don't get excited like me and go out and buy everything they tell you to, just wait and see which you use, then buy those!

Turns out, because I'm a local student I was last on the list for accomodation, so I ended up renting a room in a house with some second year medics. It was nice, but I made friends with some freshers who lived in a flat and some who lived in the halls, so i ended up staying over in peoples rooms every night and never at the room i was renting. After a few weeks, i realised the rent money i was paying every week could go to alot better use i.e. drinking! And as i was only paying per week and had no contract, I decided to move back home and use the rent money on other things!

Once the course started, I was surprised at the lack of lectures which we had. And even to this day, we dont really spend that much time in uni, you are 'supposed' to do most of the work alone. There is usually 2 hours of lectures on four days of the week and generally one day would have 4 hours of lectures. Then there would be 2 hours of anatomy on one of the days, and every week there would be one hour of small group teaching. Theres a 2 hr practical session where you mess with ECGs and stuff and that is basically the week of a first year medic! I later found out that you are supposed to do 2 hours of private reading for every hour of lectures or teaching attended...but i reackon about 1% of the year group actually do that much at the start as that would add up to over 24hrs each week!

So I was going to my lectures, but spending ALOT of time going out, but thats what freshers do right?! I would be going out to the various union nights and then back to my friends rooms and halls for parties, getting to bed around 5 then getting up at 8 for lectures! This wasnt the most effective way to learn as theres only so much proplus tablets can do!

It was around november time (we start in september) that my grandparents both got really sick, my nan was confined to her bed, and my grandad who had really bad cancer and heart problems was left to care for her, which he wasn't physically fit to do. They had looked after me from a very young age and we were very close. So to cut a long story short, I started spending basically all my time looking after them, which was both time consuming and emotionally tiring, so my work was getting effected, quite badly.

It was around january that they were both admitted to hospital, and lots of things started going wrong within my family. In february my nan had a really bad stroke. She knew her husband was dying, but she couldnt communicate with him or say the things she wanted to, It was such a heart breaking situation, she now needed 24hr care. Lots more things went wrong around then , so I decided to take a late gap year, I was aloud to return for the start of the next year (the year im now in), I now had time to spend time with my grandad during his last weeks, and then care for my nan untill we established what was going to happen for her. She now lives with us and taking the year out was the best thing i ever did.

So that was another set back in my progression to my dream career! I realised that progressing through medical school is alot more than just passing the exams, its about gaining the knowledge to be a good doctor. I could have probably passed the exams with a 3, you are scored either 5 being the best, down to a 3 being the worst, but you can progress through on 3's. However, the first year is the only time you get to learn about the CVS, respiratory and GI systems, and without that knowledge I was going to be hindered throughout med. school. I also treated myself to the medic ski trip, as i had spare money from my loan, on that trip I met my now partner, who I love to bits and is such a huge help to me both emotionally and by helping me learn (he is now a 5th year medic and about to start his F1 job) so by dropping out of the year I have not only gained more knowledge, I met my parntner and feel so much happier!

This year I have worked so hard, everything seems so much easier than last year and my mind is dedicated to the course! Up to now I have passed all my SSC's (We have assignments like performing a presentation about a certain type of drug to our small groups, or writing essays on certain medically related topics) and my understanding of the individual modules is clear! I might not pass with the highest grades but most of my assignments have been good (where the range is excellent, good, satisfactory, then borderline which is a fail) I have realised that the actual content of the course is pretty easy stuff if you sit and learn it properly, its just the quantity of the work that makes things difficult, having to remember everything as you go into such complex detail! But if I could give ny advice, it would be to learn things as you go along, I started my revision about a month ago and have found alot of the topics i am learning for the first time rather than revising it, as i didnt get round to doing it when the lecture was given.

After having a year off, my mind wasn't up to scratch but im still plodding on and trying my hardest to reach my goal! Iv recently done a mock paper and it scared me into realising I need to step up my game as it was VERY difficult, iv heard alot of people saying it was easy, which is slightly worrying to me! My exams are in 4 weeks time and tomorrow I return to uni after having 3 weeks off! Im starting to get worried about the exams but realise I can only do my best, and if i fail then i know iv put everything into it and it just wasnt meant to be!

Now iv got you all up to date with my medical 'career' so far, I can start the blog being about things that happen to me in the present tense! As iv said, I am possibly the least accademically able medic in the year group, but if i manage to pass these exams, Iv proved that anyone can do it with alot of work, effort and passion!